Today was... well, I can't really put it into words. Maybe I can, maybe I can't. I'll try but don't bug me if it doesn't work out so good.

Today was Lana's wedding. Talk about beautiful! I was balling almost first thing. John was almost in tears at the sight of her, and that just ended it for me. I've always despised love (yes I know, I'm a real sucker for it too) only because I've never seen the real stuff, aka: not me, nor anyone close to me. Things always seem to go badly... But when I saw that look of devotion on his face, and just their whole attitude, and their stories... I don't hate it anymore. I've never been so happy for somebody yet been screaming in sadness at the same time. I wish Lana and John all the best, as I know they will.

I know that I should be happy, but I can't help thinking or feeling. When I saw her father give her away, I realised that I will never have that. Nor will I ever have the father/daughter dance. All of that family, being there supporting them, I don't have that either. But mostly, that other someone. I can't describe them... they were just amazing together. I can only hope that someday, that kind of relationship comes my way. That I can find that true happiness, completeness.

Oh today.... today today today. What fun!!! Besides being sick (though on the way to recovery), today was great! Started out by getting hair mousse (love ya Kim!!!) which is totally cool! Then first class, Lana and I had a ball. Watched a movie that really pissed us off, but then started talking about really funny things and swearing in different laguages, and oh by! I'm tellin ya! Day was boring, laddie daddie da.... and so forth. Then went shopping!!!! :-D woohoo!! Got more makeup (like hell I need anymore- no worries, it's only restocking, I was running low on some stuff) and they have their special on so I got fun little freebies! So yay! Even more things to play with. :-P Then we went to Walyworld (as always) and I got Lana her wedding present. You're gonna love it!!! Had to bug Min and Joey a couple of times. :-P LMAO. Got wicked paper and everything! I am so excited about the wedding tomorrow! YAY!! Lana's gettin married!! I get to dress up, and take pictures, and have fun, and forget all my problems. Darn.. what if that storm does come in? I never thought bout that!!

Ok, so I know that this is my second post already just today, but seeing as yesterday I had no power, and I really need to get some things out.

Because I don't know who or if anybody will be reading this, I won't put names. Just references, etc.

I met somebody awhile back. It was actually last year during the end of summer. I never really got to meet them, until now. Just something about this person just drew me in and I had to do something about it. Just the way that they looked at me and smiled/laughed at me just being me, I knew they were different. Somebody else that knew this person told me otherwise, but I didn't believe it. This other person turned out to be wrong (hahaha on you!!). Things have been going really great and I can't get them off my mind. This hasn't happened to me since a certain other person that barely anybody knows. I never really told anybody about him because I knew that it couldn't work out as we lived so far apart. So I tried to cover it up. Now, I'm not even bothering to cover this up. I can't hold it back. Everybody who knows me (well, most everybody) knows and are all happy for me. But now I just don't know what is going on..... Things were so great, and now I get the feeling that I did something. Or maybe I did nothing and I am just misinterpreting things.. Which I really hope it is. :-S I am just so confused about things right now, and I know that this is probably confusing a bunch of you as well. Welcome to my world.

Well, I kinda got that out. It's not much and I know that it doesn't seem like much, but this is huge for me. Over the past week, I just felt like I was losing somebody that I could never afford to lose. And I didn't know why they were going away. Please, please stay.

Well wasn't yesterday just peachy?

Most of you had power, well some of us didn't. Luckily, there was no school. YIPPEEEEE!!!! However, that meant staying home all day long with only candle light and books to read. I got some art stuff done, but not much. Too hard on the eyes. Plus it's cold!!!!! Let's just say that I cooked supper for Mom and me (grandp's had something else... yucky soup!). And I had to do it on the wood stove down in the basement. What fun!!!

So, I didn't get much done yesterday.

Today is my first day at school so far this week. YAY!! And it's almost March Break which makes this even better! But, I'm still sick. Can somewhat talk now, and hey I can even move around without passing out!!! Go Me!!

This is my first post isn't it? I was hoping that I would be able to write something like an introduction. But how would I do that? Guess I will have to figure it out after I am finished here.
Well, what to write in my first post? Guess I should start out with the past week eh? How about past 2... Yeah, that sounds much better.

Everything was going just terrific. Friends were great, family life was better than usual, school was ok as it could be. What else could a girl ask for? I see that it was too much and just an illusion. I was supposed to have a kick ass weekend.. go figure that didn't happen. Was planning on going to the kennel and a funmatch, hanging out with a bunch of friends, and get to say goodbye to somebody who was leaving and I might never see again. Well, I got to go to the kennel, and the match. I showed up with 3 dogs. Only took in 1 of them, thats ok. Judging was wacko, and so was the space in that place! Anyways... Those people never showed up, I didn't find out why until the day after. And of course not by the person I wanted to find out by. Turns out they knew they wouldn't be going on the night before. I had been trying to talk to them, but I hadn't heard from them, in get this, an entire wekk, so I didn't know and I was bored all day long and eventually just ended up going back to the kennel.

Sunday was supposed to be a sleep in day, which I was in desperate need of. Turned out, I was going to be going to Halifax to friends'. Thats fine, get to play with puppies, so I'm good about it. Then, it turns into the entire family going (yall know how well that goes over here) and then the way home I get super sick. So, the past two days I've been at home, sick like you wouldn't believe after an entirely crappy week. Just to make things better don't ya know.

Did I forget to mention what was going on before then? All the fights between friends, all the breakups and confusions, and hey!! Of course, don't forget the car accident that I had just after the anniversary of one of my best friends' death! Oh and you can never forget Feb.14... the best day of the year... I can't even say the holiday's name!! That's how wonderful that day it. Then of course there was report cards handed out just before the anniversary. But.. a dog show!! YAY!! But who doesn't show up? The person that I had been waiting over a year to see. No... they would never show up. They won't even give a call back! Lieing jerk of a person.

Now that today is over, I can talk about that too!! To end my wonderful day, somebody actually called me. Imagine that!!! I almost passed out (from surprise and sickness)... It turned out that it was the King of all Shitheads (as this person has affectionatly *cough cough* become known as). And of course, I could barely speak! LMAO. Needless to say, the conversation went very quickly with the heartfelt stabs from me at some comments made by him.

Now that that has been down right depressing, I guess I will stop. That looks like a good first post, don't ya think?